The Lovers as Advice: Choose by Your Values

Written by Chaya the Medium.

The Lovers as advice asks you to choose rather than drift. Here is how to choose well, and what the reversal is warning about.

If you want the short answer, the Lovers as advice says: choose, and choose by your values. There is a decision in front of you, and the card asks you to make it consciously, with your heart and your principles agreeing.

What the Lovers advises upright

Tina Gong's the Lovers guide at Labyrinthos associates the upright card with love, harmony, relationships, values and choices. In an advice position I read those meanings as an instruction: the attitude or action the card is asking of you, rather than a description of what will happen. The Major Arcana overview at Biddy Tarot is a useful second reference.

Upright, the Lovers advises alignment: ask what you truly value, then pick the option that honours it. Be honest with yourself and with the other people involved.

What the Lovers is not asking you to do

The Lovers is not asking you to follow attraction alone. A choice that feels good and contradicts your values is the reversal.

The Lovers reversed as advice

Reversed, the Lovers as advice says stop avoiding the choice, or look at the misalignment you have been ignoring. Two things you want may not fit together. A reversed card in an advice position is usually pointing at the habit that is getting in your way, not at a punishment.

The Lovers as advice in love

In love, the Lovers advises honesty about what you want and whether the relationship fits it, not only whether you feel the pull.

The Lovers as advice for work and money

For work and money, it advises choosing partnerships and roles that match your values, even when another offer pays more. Advice from a card is reflection. For decisions with legal, medical or financial weight, take it to someone qualified as well.

One step to take this week

Write down the choice you are avoiding and the one value that matters most in it. Decide in that light by the end of the week.

For comparison, the Devil as advice and Temperance as advice ask different things of you. The the Lovers card meaning page covers the card in full, and the Lovers as a yes or no, the Lovers as feelings and the Lovers as timing cover the other questions people most often ask of it. You can draw a card for yourself with the free daily tarot tool. For a personal interpretation, my guide to an online psychic reading explains how readings work, and the three-card tarot listing and customer reviews are worth reading before deciding whether to order.